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Literature Text
01.
She was an artist, she dipped
her brushes into thick oils and
argued with watercolors, finding them
to run away too often from where she
wanted them to stay, she prefered the
paint that let her be more in control
of the world she created.
02.
We met in math and she was
drawing shadows on her papers and
I was doodling comics, I was creating
offbeat stars. She was older, skipped
too many classes, hated math, loved
to dangle cigarettes out of her mouth
even though she was barely 17.
03.
She believed in Persephone, in
dreams as a reality. She believed in
blaming her problems on the
Gods and Goddesses she read
about, she conjured them up in her palms
and tosses them at me. My eyelashes
fluttered; She dared me to cry.
04.
We never spoke of it, our quiet
mouths said enough. My eyes were
distant. One morning I awoke and realized
she was a lie, in the form of a girl. She was
lying. I had wings, I could get away.
05.
“Let me watch you draw,” they would beg her,
& she would be crimson cheeked,
shading in a palm tree, or a beautiful woman's
calf. And I would turn the other way,
and write about my silence, and why. Why no one
ever asked to watch me write
ever asked to watch me at all.
She was an artist, she dipped
her brushes into thick oils and
argued with watercolors, finding them
to run away too often from where she
wanted them to stay, she prefered the
paint that let her be more in control
of the world she created.
02.
We met in math and she was
drawing shadows on her papers and
I was doodling comics, I was creating
offbeat stars. She was older, skipped
too many classes, hated math, loved
to dangle cigarettes out of her mouth
even though she was barely 17.
03.
She believed in Persephone, in
dreams as a reality. She believed in
blaming her problems on the
Gods and Goddesses she read
about, she conjured them up in her palms
and tosses them at me. My eyelashes
fluttered; She dared me to cry.
04.
We never spoke of it, our quiet
mouths said enough. My eyes were
distant. One morning I awoke and realized
she was a lie, in the form of a girl. She was
lying. I had wings, I could get away.
05.
“Let me watch you draw,” they would beg her,
& she would be crimson cheeked,
shading in a palm tree, or a beautiful woman's
calf. And I would turn the other way,
and write about my silence, and why. Why no one
ever asked to watch me write
ever asked to watch me at all.
Literature
holdbacknothing
I named every termite
in the first bridge
I ever burned.
Literature
manias
1.
i used to go online and make fake
accounts on dating websites when i
was feeling especially malicious and
frustrated and rundown and sad.
female with severe trichotillomania
and kleptomania seeking male who
doesn't mind spotty baldness or
theft.
"that's mean," you would say.
and i know, i knew; it was mean. but
i hated telling you that you were right.
2.
sometimes i would ask my cat, "do you
remember who stole your eye? do you
remember your mother?" and i would feed
him bits of pasta and bread and wave my
hand in front of his nose.
"do you remember your mother? do you?
do you remember having two eyes?"
and i would be
Literature
untitled
in the dream
I stand on the tracks
illuminated by a light that grows exponentially brighter, closer
I realize this means train
this means run
But I cannot move
and so I blink and blink
until I am elsewhere
the side of a Texan highway
this time a log truck crashing towards me
there is no escaping this need to escape
I am forced to be okay with living
in a world where apologies are withheld
& everything goes on as if nothing has gone on
I still wake with my hand between my legs,
guarding,
my fingers a chain-link fence that keeps nothing out
this time, my lover wakes me caressing and I cry
out in pleasure, I cry
until I am just crying
tea
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A girl I wish I could forget.
It was high school,
but she was a mess.
She helped me be a mess.
I am glad I am back together now.
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beautiful<3