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Freedom, she dreams. by ~ohfever:iconohfever:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Visual Poetry

©2007-2009 ~ohfever
:iconohfever:

Artist's Comments



A try at mixing my poetry
with my own images / textures.
(texture from my stock @ =thiselectricheart )


&

The poem:

With her eyes on the ethereal sky,
she spies two elephant clouds,
the smaller one holding on
to the fluffy plump one's massive
tail, and

She prays to be able to float
like they can, to break
away. As if she were

a balloon, held back from other
universes, tied to a string.

As if with one stubborn tug
she could lift up into the air;

tuck herself between
a handful of clouds and

Her torn up daydreams.




Thank you for looking & reading
as always.

Comments


love 2 2 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icontoadsmoothy:
~toadsmoothy Oct 22, 2007, 10:56:19 PM
OOOHHH!!!! I LOVE THIS!! :clap::clap: Next time maybe you could write it out in your own hand and marry it to an image! :nod: ...or use a cursive font of somesort. :)

--
Best photos>> [link]
:iconhaydey:
Mood: Love ~haydey Oct 23, 2007, 3:56:54 AM
i love this its so cute ^_^

--
~Sierra~
:iconchelx:
~chelx Oct 23, 2007, 5:25:50 AM
i like the last line.
somehow it feels like reality poking into a dream.
and adds a whole other dimension.
(:

beautiful, both the words and the picture.

--
lovebites.
:iconohfever:
~ohfever Oct 23, 2007, 8:40:28 AM
Yes I should.

I also have aquired poetic magnets..and I could do something like that too.

Thanks dear! :glomp:

--


Do you still believe in stars?

*tangledseaweed ~ art / photos
:iconohfever:
~ohfever Oct 23, 2007, 8:41:43 AM
Thank you :)

--


Do you still believe in stars?

*tangledseaweed ~ art / photos
:iconohfever:
~ohfever Oct 23, 2007, 8:41:52 AM
thanks dear :)

--


Do you still believe in stars?

*tangledseaweed ~ art / photos
:iconlovespoon:
*Lovespoon Oct 23, 2007, 12:03:35 PM
I like this a lot. So Ohfever in its so tone and philosophical ponderings.

I think "torn up" just doesn't fit the piece though.
wistful, playful, childhood something softer and comforting seems called for.

Good writing though as always.

:teddy:

--
"Women may fake orgasms, but men fake entire relationships."

Poetry/Fiction: [link]
Astrology: [link]
Artist Free Traffic: [link]
:iconshescreamsirony:
~sheSCREAMSirony Oct 23, 2007, 12:20:45 PM
It's so wonderfully sad. Very nice work. :aww:
:iconbloodwitness:
~bloodwitness Oct 23, 2007, 4:55:03 PM
In my opinion (not that it matters), "Her torn up daydreams." seems a weak way to end the poem, a bit cliché, actually, although the rest is quite beautifully enjambed.

Also I don't think the picture fits, but since it's your picture and your poem, can't really know what's going on there.
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October 22, 2007
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Camera Data

Canon
Canon PowerShot S2 IS
1/1002 second
F/7.1
6 mm
Sep 4, 2007, 2:40:40 AM

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